Will Boys Become Men?

I rode my bicycle to church this morning as I do every morning. Near the church some boys yelled obscenities at me. This is not the first time something like this has happened. I have been hit with leather straps, had bottles thrown at me and, more often, been yelled at. I was on the sidewalk or in the bike lane on every one of these occasions. I was not impeding traffic or causing them any distress. So, why did they do this?

In each case these were boys. Please note that I didn't call them young men. They weren't young men. They were boys. They want to become men but they don't know how. They don't know what it takes to be a man and they believe that exercising some power over another individual will make them men. Their fathers have not taught them what it is to be a man. Maybe their fathers don't know either.

A man does what is right. He seeks to know what is right and does it no matter what the consequences. Taking advantage of other people is not right. It is the action of a boy trying to determine what a man is. What these boys did this morning was not right. Even they would know this if confronted.

A man stands up to his adversary. These boys knew that I could not catch the SUV they were driving. They tried to say they were standing up when everyone can see they were sitting down. They wanted to think they were brave when there was no bravery. At other times I have tried to catch boys who have done these things. I have seen passengers yelling at the drivers to go faster because I might catch them at a red light. How much bravery is in this?

A man always puts love before himself. He seeks to be a friend rather than a foe to others. He seeks the best for others. He does not hate. He may pity but he does not hate. He may not choose to be around a fool but he does not hate. These boys were exhibiting hatefulness. They were just boys.

Have you noticed that the heroes in the stories don't exhibit the traits of real men anymore? There was a time when heroes in movies showed they were real men. Now, they are just boys. I wonder if movies changed the characters so that viewers could identify with them better.

Who is responsible for boys becoming men? Fathers are. Other men are. Boys don't teach boys to become men. Men teach boys to become men. 

Boys will not take their sons to church. They think it isn't manly. They don't understand the greatest Man who ever lived started the church. His name was Jesus and He wasn't the milk toast individual that movies have made Him out to be. He didn't even speak with a British accent. Jesus was a real man.

Maybe we would have more men in the world if they would learn that standing up for Jesus will make you a man. 

Life Isn't Always What You Expect It to Be

As a child you allowed life to happen. Your parents took you everywhere you went and much of your time and nearly all your goals were prescribed for you. You did not think much of the future. It was like you were floating down a river on an inner tube. The river took you where it went. You were just a passenger.

The older you got the more decisions you were able to make. You were asked what you would do with your life. That question generally meant what you would do to support yourself. Some people know from the beginning but most change their decisions often. Eventually, you settle on one profession. You think that is what you will do the rest of your life. You may change jobs but you expect to stay within the same profession. This is rarely true today but it is your expectation.

Either new technologies or new opportunities capture your interest and you change professions. You may even go back to school and change to something completely unrelated. Thus, you have MD's with bachelors in Electrical Engineering. They don't seem very related.

At some point you may wonder if you are back in that river you were in as a kid. How could these things happen like this? How could you change direction in ways that were totally unforeseeable?

I suppose you could explain your change of direction by saying it is all about you and what you wanted. Surely, you made the decision to change directions in ways you never expected. Yet, I would ask you to consider another possibility. Could it be that there is an outside force who is helping you with your decisions?

Suppose there is Someone who is working all around you at all times. He is putting interests in your path. He can do so because He knows your heart. He knows what is best for you and is able to bring people to speak to you at the proper moments. He is able to put circumstances in front of you just when you need an answer. He senses when you have gotten bored with your current profession. He knows when you are frustrated and need a new challenge. He has great plans for you. These plans are for your good. Your response means your life takes an unexpected turn.

In the middle of the town of Enterprise, Alabama is a statue of a boll weevil. Years ago the boll weevil wiped out the cotton crops and forced the farmers to consider a new crop. They started planting peanuts and made more money than they ever could planting cotton. They owed their success to something that seemed to be their nemesis. Life took an unexpected turn. They are glad it did.

Life takes unexpected turns for us but it is never unexpected for God. I believe that He is often the One leading us to change our direction. I believe He is the One who has the ultimate plan for our good. I believe that following Him is the best.

Yes, life isn't always what you expect it to be. Sometimes it takes terrible turns that lead us down glorious paths. I thank God it isn't what I expected. In the long run, it's much better.

Is Jesus Worth That Much?

Jesus is reclining at the table. Lazarus was there. Martha was serving. Mary, their sister, came to Jesus and poured a bottle of very expensive perfume on His feet. She used her long hair to rub in the oil. The aroma filled the room.

"What are you doing?!" Judas asked indignantly, "This perfume was worth a whole year's wages. It could have been sold and given to the poor!"

Certainly Judas response sounds noble. Feeding the poor seems to be a better use of this perfume. All of it was placed on Jesus feet. It was gone in moments. Surely the poor mean more than this.

It is in this human reasoning that we discount the value of Jesus. Human reasoning will leave you without worship. Human reasoning is not based upon your love for Him. It is merely what appears right in your own eyes. Many reading this blog may have agreed with Judas. Jesus is just not worth a year's wages. It would be better to give it to the poor.

This is how people are able to forget about Jesus. One morning they get up and do something that does not honor their Lord and justify it with human reasoning. They say, "I can't go to church on Sundays because I want to spend time with my family. My family is involved in (you name it) which has its practices and games on Sundays. Surely, it is more important for me to spend time with my family."

It seems reasonable. It even seems laudable but it is really saying that Jesus doesn't mean that much. Don't worry about explaining it to the believers, its really your testimony to the non-believers that you will have to answer. They are reading you clearly. They don't think Jesus is worth that much either. They are glad you joined them. It verifies their belief. Surely, Jesus isn't worth this much.

I have seen non-believers observe the furnishings in a church and exclaim, "This would have been better spent on the poor!" I wonder if they have ever read the story of Mary giving her perfume. I wonder if they know they are repeating the words of Judas. A church should honor the Lord. It may not be lavish but it needs to be the most honorable place it can be.

Is Jesus really worth your devotion? Is He really worth all that you have? Is He worth your time and possessions? Human reasoning will never lead you to say yes.

When you get down to it, it all depends upon your love. If you love Him, there is nothing beyond His reach. You will hold back everything you can if you don't love Him. He is an idol rather than your Lord. He is a god of convenience.

Is Jesus worth that much?

Man's Vengeance Avoids God's Justice

So, someone hurt you. Even worse, someone hurt someone you love. You want to get him or her back. You want him to feel the pain that you feel. You want him to know what they have done to you. You want vengeance in the worst way. I don't know why you want to let him off so light.

God is a god of love but He is also a god of justice. He wants you to forgive so that He can fully deal with this individual. He may bring him to repentance. Repentance will include the recognition of all the pain they he has caused. He will feel that pain or he hasn't understood repentance.

God cannot be fooled with pseudo-repentance. You have seen this before. People will cry crocodile tears but are only sorry they got caught. Their tears are produced because of the pain they feel from being caught. They don't feel pain for what they have done. God will continue with His justice in the face of pseudo-repentance.

God will not give full justice when you get in His way. You will have administered your own vengeance rather than His justice. This way the guilty get off light.

God's justice is sure. It will be administered in this world or the one to come. It is appropriate. The person will not get off as lightly as you would have hurt him. God's justice will be fulfilled. It will not be thwarted unless you try to administer your vengeance.

I worked in a business several years ago that promised me a raise after three months. When four months had passed and there was still no raise, I asked my boss about it. He told me that I embarrassed him by asking. (I had placed a note on his desk.) He told me I could quit if I wanted. 

My first reaction was to do damage to the company. I could seriously affect their bottom line by telling their customers what had happened to me. God told me to leave this man alone and the company. He told me that He would take care of it.

Three months later I quit and went to another job. I simply forgot about the injustice until I went back to that town to visit. I learned that this huge business, which owned several other businesses, was out of business. This man who had treated me unjustly was getting his justice. He lost his job when the business went under.

I could never have administered that justice. My vengeance may have hurt the company but would have done little to the man who treated me badly. God punished a business which was not treating its employees justly. He administered His justice.

I learned then to never get in the way of God's justice. Remember, He knows when a sparrow falls to the ground. He knows what is going on with you. Forgive and go on when someone hurts you. Let God have the person who hurt you. Your hands will be clean and your conscience clear.

God will give His justice. That's for sure. 

What Is Baptism?

A person gives his or her heart to Jesus. The church says baptism is necessary. Why?

People are baptized for three reasons. The church may administer the baptism but the reasons exist beyond the church.

The first reason a Christian needs to be baptized comes from obedience. When Peter was asked at Pentecost what one must do in order to be saved, he answered, "Repent and be baptized."(Acts 2:38) Jesus told His followers that they should go and make disciples, baptizing them in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. (Matthew 28:19) Baptism is at the heart of lordship for the Christian. He cannot say that Jesus is his Lord if He will not be baptized. Baptism won't save you. It is just one of the indicators that you are saved. You should be baptized if you are a believer.

A Christian needs to be baptized to present a testimony to others. Baptism represents a change in the person's life. He was walking one direction but by coming to Jesus will walk in a different direction. He lived one way of life and will now lead another. Baptism represents the burial of the old life and being raised to walk a new one. (Romans 6:4) Baptism should be a time to invite friends and family who know and don't know the Lord. Those who know the Lord have their own Christian lives encouraged at another's baptism. Those who don't know the Lord hear the Gospel through their observation of what the Christian life should be.

Baptism also shows that a Christian is in agreement with other Christians. Jesus, Himself, was baptized. Now, we have to ask why? He wasn't baptized for the remission of sins. He wasn't doing so because He was a sinner who needed to repent. He was baptized as He started His ministry. John the Baptist preached about Him before Jesus started His ministry. He came to John to be baptized so that He would show that He was in agreement with John. (Matthew 3:15) Baptism is the common experience of the believers. It is something each Christian should have experienced. Baptism shows that Christians are in agreement with each other and with the Lord.

Now, what is the manner of baptism? I must admit that I don't think Jesus is going to be looking for watermarks when we get to heaven. However, I believe that immersion best represents baptism's testimony of being buried. I do not negate someone's baptism from another denomination who does not believe as I do. I don't tell them that that wasn't real or that it doesn't count. If they come to join my church I ask them to be baptized by immersion (if they haven't done so somewhere else before) to show they are in agreement with the body of believers. It seems like a simple act of compliance but it represents a commitment to the community of believers in our church. It is a much greater commitment that most people would recognize. 

I came from a church that did not immerse to join a Baptist church after becoming an adult. I resisted becoming a Baptist more than I resisted baptism. However, I went to a Baptist church regularly. The reason I went to the Baptist church is because I loved the Bible. The messages given in that church was biblically based. I read the Bible personally and loved the sermons.

One day I realized that I had become what I had never wanted to become. My understanding of the Scripture lined up with the Baptist. I was a Baptist whether I liked it or not. I might as well make it official and join the church. I knew they would ask me to be immersed and thought of it as an initiation rite. I was wrong.

I did not expect anything to happen when I came to be baptized. I just put on the robe and went into the water. Dr. Malcolm Bane of First Baptist Church, College Station, Texas baptized me. Something happened somewhere between going down in the water and coming up. It was something deeply spiritual. The Holy Spirit was there. I wish I could explain it better.

I have baptized hundreds of people since then. I pray that everyone's baptism is a spiritual experience. I don't pray that it was exactly like mine. I think God loves each of us deeply and personally. I think He has something special for everyone. 

Honestly, if you are a believer, what keeps you from being baptized? Call your church and tell the pastor what you know you should do. I promise that your walk with the Lord will be greater when you do what the Spirit leads you to do.

Lessons for Pastors and Politicians

I have never run for a political office but I was elected by each church I served. The Baptist believe on voting on everything! The Baptist can vote you and in and they can vote you out at any business meeting. That's one of the reasons I never watched Survivor. I could be voted off the island in any month!

Years of service have led me to several ways of ministering that apply both to pastors and politicians. The pastor wants to do the right thing and continue to have a ministry. The politician hopefully enters office wanting to do the right thing and continue being elected. The things I have learned may not keep a politician elected but they will keep him or her sincere.

You are the pastor of all the church. You are not just the pastor of those who voted for you. You are not just the pastor of the people who agree with you. You are responsible for each person. Doing what is best for all has to be the driving force. Simply trying to please your supporters will keep you running from item to item with no real vision. 

Your critics can be your best allies. They may keep you from doing something that you never should have done. They should cause you to rethink whether or not this is best for everyone. Their way of thinking may cause you to think in a way you never thought before. You should listen without immediate criticism. You should consider their thoughts. You may need to modify or stop what your agenda to do so.

Don't bring things for a vote until you know its the right thing to do. Make sure you have looked at the consequences of your decision. All decisions have consequences and create new problems. Don't ignore these but know whether or not they are acceptable. You have not done your homework if you have not considered the consequences.

Work within the system you have. Do not try to change the system by forcing a decision down the people's throats. In other words, work within your committee structure or regular system of decision making to bring new items to your people. Make the item of change the decision making system if it needs to be changed. Do not try to change the decision making process by introducing a new proposal. Don't put the two things together.

Work toward trust. Trust comes from faithfulness plus time. Tell the truth. Tell as much of what you are doing as possible. Let the people know what you do to accomplish your work. Many people think a pastor only works Sundays. They don't know of the counseling, administrative duties and pastoral care that takes up his time during the week. They don't know that he continues to work on vacations and days off. They don't know the number of hours each week. They need to know what you are doing if they are going to trust you.

Always be honest. It is better to tell the people that you can't answer a question due to confidentiality than to tell a lie. It is better to admit your mistakes or sins than to try to hide them. Honesty will destroy a scandal. Honesty all but eradicates speculation. An exposed lie removes trust. You can't truly be the leader you need to be without the trust of the people.

Be humble. Few people enjoy an arrogant blow hard. Tell of how fortunate you are to be serving. Tell of who you appreciate. Genuinely consider others better than yourself. Never over-estimate your own abilities. 

Get advice often. Choose someone outside your system. Tell them what you are proposing and ask how it sounds to them. Often, they can stop you from making a fool of yourself.

Do not pass your responsibility to others. Stand up for what you believe in. Take your office seriously and do those things you don't like doing when they fall under your responsibility.

Remember that no one makes you do anything. You make your own decisions. Don't ever blame something on someone when the buck stops at your desk. Forget about your predecessor. He or she is not your problem even if they caused many of the things you must clean up. A true leader takes things forward and does not blame anything on someone else.

Remember the people can vote you out of office but they can't take your heart. You can leave intact as long as you have been true to your heart. You don't know who you are if you have destroyed your own heart.

You don't know it all. Be a lifelong learner. You can learn from the most unlikely people. Even little children can teach you great truths. Make sure you don't dismiss someone because they lack your education or experience. Learn until the day you die.

Have fun. This comes from knowing that it is not all in your hands. If God called you to this work, then God will see you through this work if you will let Him. Enjoy seeing Him work.

There are lots of other things that I learn and need to learn. These are some things I learned in the ministry. I believe they would also apply to politicians. I know I would want those who are serving me in office to know these things.

When Couples Fight Over Money

A survey says that couples fight over money more than anything else. I have found that money has a strange hold on people. It can make brothers and sisters disown one another. It can make people spread lies about each other. It can ruin lifelong friendships. Should we be surprised that it also makes people who otherwise love each other passionately to fight with each other?

The Bible says that money is a root of all sorts of evil. I actually think we could have figured this out. People think that it will enable them to do what they want. They think that the lack of it keeps them from what they want. Disagreements and fights will be found when the lack of money affects core values. In other words, the wife will spend money for new clothes when her core value is being dressed nicely. The husband will fight with the wife over money if he does not have such a value. His value is found in scuba diving. He cannot save the money for the trip he would like to take if she continues to spend money on clothes. She cannot have the money she needs for clothes if he continues to go scuba diving. A fight is around the corner.

Money must have defined boundaries for peace. The couple must make some agreements which will not be violated. There must be a promise not to spend any money or an agreed upon limit without communicating with each other. Every violation will cause a fight. Trust will be eroded and soon the marriage will be in real trouble.

The lack of money can mean a lack of security for one member of the couple. There may never be enough money if one of the couple has a fear that they will become destitute. They see a large bank account as a secure future. This can cause hoarding and also destroy a marriage. Again, a reasonable boundary needs to be drawn. Fights will end once the couple decides to keep this boundary solid.

Many couples need to enter a program which will help them define monetary boundaries. Often, they are embarrassed to do so. They believe there is some flaw within themselves if they have to seek outside help. They would rather live in misery rather than get help. Does that make sense?

Let me put it this way. I am on a diet. I had to get some outside help to keep me on this diet. I had tried to do so before without help but I was losing. I have gotten help and lost several pounds. I could have lived in my miserable condition but I sought help. Why can't people seek help when they have financial problems? It is no different from going on a prescribed diet. The is that this diet has to do with spending rather than eating.

Get some help if you and your spouse are fighting over money. It could save your marriage and give you many more restful nights. Speak to your spouse about it today. Then do so right away.

Maybe your church has a program offered. You could possibly take a course by Dave Ramsay or someone else who gives couples advice on money. Just don't keep putting it off.